The Mall Incident

After morning drop off with my oldest on Friday morning, I thought I'd take the littles out for a bit and return something I got (on a whim) at Nordstrom from the week before.  We don't normally do morning drop off, but our carpool buddies are out of town, so it was all four of the kids loaded into the car before 9 AM.  We were also a bit late because we had a dentist appointment in the morning, so by the time I came home to relieve Grandma of babysitting duties, and made it over to the school, it was about 9:30 AM.

When we arrived at the mall, it was quite empty (though two ladies in work out clothes circling the mall while power walking made me chuckle, that'll be me in a few years).  We made our way towards the area heavy with coin operated machines, the kinds that used to stand in front of supermarkets and you'd beg your parents for just one ride please.  My mom texted me right around then with an image of a shirt she wanted to mail to me.  I responded "sure!" and then sent her a photo of my view, which was Bubba running towards the coin operated machinery area, and me pushing the littles in the stroller.  For a brief second while the photo sat in my text area ready to be sent, I hesitated to send it because she'd probably be upset about how far Bubba was and out of my reach.  I was careless though, and went ahead and sent it.  What was I thinking?  I would soon regret it and never think twice about my own initial hesitations.  I do know my mom the most and can predict a lot of her responses. ....

Mom: "Is that Barba standing far away?" (Side note: I'm not sure why, but she can't seem to figure out that it's Bubba.  She always calls him Barba in text.)

My response: Yup, going to the coin operated playground.

Mom: You be careful.  When some one catch him you don't have time and energy to protect your kids.

Me: Send another photos showing cute kids on the playground, thinking well Bubba is right by me now, waiting hopefully for a positive affirmation response. 

Mom: Just be careful, be careful & be careful please. Some people in the mall try to catch the kids in your group.  Once you lost your kid in the mall, you never expect to see them again.

Me: What kind of people?  Some people also might break into my house

Mom: That chance is less than in the mall. You need to keep your kids in a safety circumstance being a mother.  Once that happen, your husband and in laws will never forget you forever. Forgive you.

Ugh.  Why did I send her that photo?!  One small decision has spiraled into a whirlwind of infuriating text responses, all well intentioned but so difficult to stomach all the while.  I decided I better hang up the phone before things got dicey, so I politely said I had to go, and hoped the text chain would end.  Of course, text is the best way for a sometimes overbearing mother's tirade of judgment. 

Mom's Text: Being a mother, you need to sacrifice something.  You are not single girl any more.  Shopping is not essential in your life.You can go shopping with your husband, in law or Jane.  Not by yourself with 3 kids please my deal daughter.  You should appreciate your current happy life.  DO NOT GIVE YOURSELF any risky chance.  Especially your kids are too much cute.  Please protect them carefully.  Shopping mall is different from church, library.  There are so many weird people in the mall.

I'm a pretty paranoid person already.  I couldn't drink blue Gatarode for weeks after seeing a story on Dateline about some girl getting poisoned by her husband with anti-freeze disguised as Gatorade, especially not if offered by my husband.

I've never wondered why I'm paranoid.  Why I walked all throughout my college campus clutching onto my rape whistle and pepper spray like it was my oxygen.  Why a simple Dateline story would drive me to question my own husband.  Why I question when random coincidences occur with strangers around me in unfamiliar places, yes I observe it and notice it all too much.  Why I've already had conversations with my kids about identity theft and role playing what to do if approached by a stranger.  Well, now I know why.