Sometimes, when my husband's family
play with my kids, I chuckle a bit. Him and I have very different childhoods. I only remember one uncle playing
with us as kid, and I can recall that he was our favorite because of
that. The rest of the family, they just fed us. Actually I lie, one other occasion, the Christmas all my cousins and I will remember, is when my uncle and his then girlfriend, now my aunt, played a game of Monopoly with us. We know now he was just trying to impress her, because he refused to play ever again, and she also wasn't excited to play again, but that has remained a part of my good memory pile from then on. It also sprouted my love for board games, and even though the only ones we played growing up were Monopoly and LIFE, both games I kind of sorta hate now, I also was exposed to some other games through school and friends, and in my adult life, have come unto actually legit games! HAHA I digress. So..., most of my family... they were all immigrants who had come from Taiwan to find the American dream in LA. And I'm not sure why but they just knew how to work hard and shower us with gifts and food, but they didn't really
know how to interact with kids. Not much has changed in respect to my uncles and aunts. They're still really good at feeding them. Like constantly shoving food into their mouths, bringing bread and desserts and snacks for them, and then giving them a ton of fruit when they're stuffed. My dad will provide them with big architect planning paper and tons of pens to draw something with. I remember doing this as a kid a lot too. I guess you could say they're really good at encouraging me to grow my creative side also. Don't get me wrong, my parents
love LOVE my kids, but they struggle to know how to be with them if they are not providing for them. It is oddly reminiscent of my own childhood. Even now as a grown up, my parents still aren't sure how to be my friend, and are still my parents. They still are in charge of me, provide me with food and shelter, and help me out financially whenever I visit. In fact, my dad has been known to "sponsor" our trips to Disneyland everytime we visit, but both my parents would not want to go to an actual amusement park with us, which is a stark contrast from my husband's more American family, where both his parents and his aunt and uncle have been to numerous amusement parks with us. My parents also freak out when we dine in an actual restaurant and the kid start acting up. You know, because they have to wait for food and are bored and want to get up and walk around. We prefer buy and sit to dine type of places, but my parents have taken us to many a fancy Chinese restaurants and then been mortified by my kids' very normal childlike behavior, which was completely appalling and unacceptable by my parents' standards (and made for a really boring childhood spent every weekend at dim sum). But I respect the differences and it doesn't bug me. I just find it interesting to note the differences.
Good article! My in-laws and even my wife are similar. I know of no better mother than my wife. Loving, sacrifices, does ALL for our kids. But birthdays (and gift giving in general) are hard for her (never knows what to buy so usually cash or gift card). When our kids were young and we lived in Taiwan birthdays were always a "fruit" cake. I'm sure you know (actually a very delicious cake) a layer cake made with peaches and other fruit in it. Sing "happy birthday," eat some cake, done deal. But still wonderful memories and, again, best mom ever!!
ReplyDeletehahaha totally! I learned to make "fruit cakes" when we moved to Utah because of the lack of them, and the expensive pricetag here. it's really hard for us culturally to adapt and do more like the Americans do!
ReplyDeleteI love this! My sister and I have talked about this a lot. When I went to go visit my sister, I observed, truly observed my parents. Mostly my dad. And while he is very kind and generous towards his grandsons (buying him nice macarons), he didn’t know how to play with my nephew. My sister asked my dad if he could take her son to the playground and he seemed terrified. It’s so odd. Still great grandparents but I guess us Asians really show our love differently.
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